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But how, and how to defend them in a healthy way.
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Maybe you could avoid indefinitely, but to me, in order to set a boundary, one needs to say it out loud.
One could begin by saying how much you value the friendship—but one thing has been difficult for you, which is ...
And therefore you are asking...
Because you wouldn’t want anything to come between you.
Once you have a boundary, you can use gentle, non threatening humor to remind her of it.