Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this issue - I know exactly how you feel. I can't have sex with someone else unless I'm drunk, otherwise I'm far too anxious. The only time I remember not having this issue was when I was in a relationship - the first time we had sex, I felt comfortable with them. I was nervous, but we knew each other well and for quite a long time. In general though, I usually just drink a lot so I have the 'confidence' to go through with it. I'm sorry, I can't offer much in the way of advice, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I guess my only suggestion would be to have sex with someone you trust. Someone you can be honest with. Remember they're only human too - if you know each well, they'll care about you and want you to be comfortable. Do not be ashamed at doing things at your own pace or communicating your level of comfort. And don't feel ashamed about your feelings, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

I hope this somewhat helped x