I talked to T about the hospital today and he told me he appreciated me bringing things up like that even when I'm unsure about it. He said he feels that part of me thinks it might be a good idea and I agree, but I told him no time feels like the right time. I told him my fear now that I'd go in and my grandma would die while I was in. We didn't talk much about it, so I didn't tell him I'm thinking of agreeing this week after my class ends and my son's birthday if I'm still feeling like this. He told me before we ended that he is being sincere about calling him if I want this weekend because it would be better than if I did SH and ended up hurting myself.