First off, I am so sorry you are going through this suffering. Next and maybe you don't see it but I believe you just took a gigantic step forward stepping out and at least asking for advice. I think that is a huge first step. If you are willing to listen to some of these community members here that just might have some ideas to get the ball rolling for you that just might be the starting point for getting your life started on the right foot again. First, I think you need to keep an open mind. You say that the loneliness is killing you. Is there anywhere even if it is a small step and within your home at first that you can engage in some sort of activity that you may like to do like video games, or puzzles, models or somethings like that. Then maybe lead up to going to the park or something like that. I really think this needs to be taken in small steps. I hope what I am saying may help a little bit.