So I’m in my early thirties.. as a kid I would have dreams or I should say nightmares that never made any sense. I always suspected that I endured some type of abuse as a baby/toddler. It was never really sure. I have spent most of my life disassociating from uncomfortable emotions and memories. My grandma passed away about a year ago and it was then I was given a stack of papers my grandparents had kept from a long time ago. It outlined more of what I went through between 1yr old and 4/5 years old. Things I did remember but blocked out or chalked off as a nightmare.. but my suspicions were confirmed. I am a survivor of sexual childhood trauma and am only dealing with it now.
I am remembering things and trying to put it all into perspective. I have tried to talk to my siblings about it but they kind of shut down and change the subject. They were involved in the incidents which were perpetrated by our natural mother and her husband.
I’m not sure what I expect to gain from knowing more or getting confirmation but I just want to know so I can move past it all. I kind of want my natural mother to confess what happened and I want and apology but I know those are both unrealistic requests.

has anyone else went through anything similar or do you have any thoughts or advice or words of wisdom?