I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I feel quite certain I was never sexually abused. However there are many things about my young life I would like to better understand. I'm an older person though. My parents are long-since gone & I was an only child. There's no chance I will ever come to know any of it. So I can't offer anything with regard to similar personal experiences. However I wanted to share this one article in particular, from PC's archives, with you. Perhaps it may be of interest:

Memory Isn't Important to Recover from Trauma

My best wishes to you...