Hey Bill! Yeah, 50 days is usually around my breaking point. IDK why. There's nothing magical about the number 50. I just get worn down after around 50 days and it gets harder and harder to resist. I think it could be anger. Anger at my parents for neglecting me and for my Mom physically abusing me when I was a kid. But I have a great relationship with my parents now so I think it's hard to feel that anger. But I've never really dealt with it. After 10 + years in therapy you think I would have. But I just avoid anger like the plague. But then I get hurt by hurting myself, so my T is trying to help me pry the door open a little. I drew today (whilst at work--bad employee--I didn't have any work to do) a mandala and a scene of a girl in a closet scared. I'm trying to get to that anger but it is buried deep. It's easier to cut it away. HUGS Kit