While still seeing ex-MC (before the rupture near the end), anytime I even *thought* about terminating with him, I would start crying. At one point, I told ex-T how, at that time, it felt like ex-MC understood me more than anyone in my life ever had. And I didn't want to lose that. She told me that even if we stopped seeing him, I could hold onto that feeling of being understood, that it doesn't go away. I did survive us eventually terminating, which was my decision, but the rupture led me to not be able to trust him anymore. I do wonder if that hadn't happened...would we still be seeing him? Would I have just managed to leave on my own anyway, especially after seeing current T?

Anyway, I had an email exchange with my T fairly early on in our relationship about fears of leaving ex-MC (pre-rupture). He said the following, which resonated with me, so maybe it would help you? "I hope you believe that, even if we were to stop working together, you would be OK - relationships come to an end sometimes - most of the time, in fact - and people heal from the loss and move forward to new relationships. I know you may read that sentence as a warning that I intend to leave. That is not the case. I simply want you to understand that you can, have, and will survive loss - even the loss of [Ex-MC] if/when that happens - and the same will be true for me when that time comes. I want you to feel whole within yourself. Relationships are marvelous, wonderful things and in many ways the most important thing we do. But they are also finite most of the time, and that's OK. We feel sad over the ending of a relationship - sometimes emotionally devastated if we are particularly close to the person - but we must always hold within us the understanding that "I'll be OK, and I will have other relationships, and I can feel close and trust people even though there is risk of loss."


May add more later!