I got out into the garden today and mowed the lawn, removed weeds, and cleaned up.

Didn't do it last year at all and this is the first time this year. The depression kept me away from it last year. I think I'm feeling better compared to this time last year.

I had a really low day a couple of days ago so I'm not out of this 19 month long phase yet.

I argued with my wife last night. I got tired of being told that my answers are too short, that I'm not standing straight enough, that I shouldn't stare into space, that the inflection in my voice is causing people to be hurt, and a bunch of other stupid stuff. It has been going on for years. I told her enough! I said accept me like I accept you. I have not once tried to change her.

This is on top of the "discussions" we have about my bipolar. I put it in quotes because she doesn't even try to understand what I've been going through and she doesn't get how I can be functional yet as depressed as I say I am. I tell her it's purely intellectual, and that I'm doing things in an effort to get out of the depression. She thinks I'm cured and the meds I take are poison and will cause dimentia and all sorts of other problems.

It's all up hill. But I'm surviving and holding out hope that things will improve.