i keep trying and trying..but i just can't help that this happened to me...i can say a thousand times that it's not fair...but what's the point...when i really sit down and think about it...i..me...the person i am...made a friend hate me...and that makes me feel pretty worthless and horrible inside..what was it about me...why was i not worth it anymore..didn't they know i didn't mean to be such a loser..that i didn't mean to be over the top...i think ill just sit here and cry...i don't know why i have become such a horrible person..i used to be such a fun girl to be around..i used to be a good friend..people used to like me...now im a loner..a loser...i don't venture out of the house...im lucky that two of my housemates are my best friends..and my best friend comes to visit me..im scared to form new friends...coz i don't want this to happen all over again...i hate myself..i know this post is different from the rest and more depressive...but i tried and tried and it was so hard to keep going so positive and the truth is...i ruined the friendship coz im a worthless person who deosnt deserve anyone to love me...i take take take from friends and don't know when to stop..i've done it before and am just lucky they werent mean to me or dumped me completely...tho i probably deserved it..i hate myself so much..i hate who i have become...god i long to be the girl i once was...where is she?????????? why can't i change..why am i still so depressed when im doing everything they say to get better...why do i destroy everything that means something to me..who is next...am i going to be completely alone oneday...and is that when life's actually over...what if i get to a point in life where even if i did knock myself off no one would even realise....why why why...?????? why have i ended up like this?? i don't want to be me...anymore....i want to be someone else....