(((somebody)))))

you are really hurting its clear to see... you are self-examining and yes, that is a very painful process when we've done or been involved in activities we cant currently feel proud of or understand why we did it...

the thing is.... we are all growing if we try... we have to start where we are at... at times, we are not in a good feeling place... thats not ok, but, its what we have to accept n order to go onwards..

you have a goal, you have an idea of what you'd like it to be like.. it may seem 'way out there' now and unattainable... i think that is a mis-conception we make...

sometimes i think we do surround ourselves with the mirror of past wrongs and that reflection can hurt very deeply..

for me, self-forgiveness was/is as important as other forgiveness..

it will open a doorway for healing... it doesnt happen like the snap of fingers we'd like... there is a process.. a very painful mental and emotional process..

friends and professionals helps us get there.. it takes time...

can you begin with acceptance tho? not saying you must feel that all you've done was perfect and right, but accept the human part of yourself too... allow yourself mistakes in the learning process... there are no such thing as mistakes as long as we've learned from them