I know my emotions are chaotic but i have a strong sense of moral codes and always treat everyone the same (according to how im treated; as a mirror..)

Always polite, respectful, empathetic, and understanding...
I dont lash out but withdraw internally and take it out on myself or abuse alcohol...

I just feel like i have been treated very poorly my entire life and lately feel as if people are so delusional applying their assumptions on me and gossiping about me over things thay are not true causing ever more difficulties for me

I struggle to maintain my stress level so i can remain high functioning...
But this has become unbearable...


Am i the delusional one..? If not why is everyone spreading rumors about me and turning around smiling in my face saying they care about me and want to help when they are only destroying me..?

I know im not delusional because i have heard through others whats being said ..

I cant cope with it anymore and my anxiety and stress are making my symptoms really bad...

I've been lashing out and feeling attacked and its not like me and i just want it to stop but i cant control what other people assume or say...

I just wish that their paranoid delusions didn't involve me and didn't affect me...

The things being said about me are not true :'(
What do i do..? It's everyone that know me and im very alone and singled out right now...
It's no exaggeration...