I have many nieces and nephews and I deeply love each and every one of them.
One niece, in particular, comes by (at least) every 2nd Saturday of each month. She's so sweet and such a "bright light!" Such a JOY!!!
She's now in her early 30's, it's so hard to believe!
So, um -- I had to explain to her just why her uncle is no longer here. She had many questions. I did my best to answer her questions honestly. She's no longer a child. It was incredibly painful, as she had always looked up to him. All of the "children" have always looked up to him.
Possible trigger:
I am sorry one of my decisions has caused such pain and disappointment to my nieces and nephews; yet, I'd had no way of knowing he was doing any of it, not to mention "it all."
I am still in shock over "it all,"and I doubt I know even the half of it.
"It all" triggers the hell out of me, in a VERY big way, due to my childhood trauma history. I am dissociating, having night terrors, losing days...
"It all" engenders fury, disgust, and so much more in me, as a (somewhat) healthy adult.
I have no idea of how to come to terms with "it all."
Somehow, I must rise above "it all" because...
I have to work with him now, the creator of this shyt storm(aka "it all"), in order to negotiate a divorce settlement? !!!
I must sit across the table from him?
OMG!!! Heaven help me!!!
I just cannot imagine having to negotiate with
him.
(
I am all for amicable divorces; yet, sometimes... UGH... someone has gone way, way too far beyond...
