Hello! I hope you’re feeling better. I don’t know what to say but your post broke my heart. I thought about committing when I was eleven. I was so young, alone, anxious, afraid, depressed and filled with self hate. I thought about committing even before knowing that it was forbidden in my religion to take my own life. But I couldn’t do it because I loved my parents that much. I couldn’t break their hearts. Knowing that they will never recover after. So I stepped back.
Today, I’m a young woman who’s still depressed but i try to have faith that the future will be better and brighter because everyone of us deserve that kind of happiness.
This thing that’s called depression made me realize that there is nothing more important in the world than happiness and the peace of a mind. I’m still suffering but I’m still hoping for a better tomorrow.
I really hope that you’ll do the same. In your worst moments think of your wife and the better future that you two will have. We just need someone, a shoulder to cry on, a hug, someone to understand us and you have that. You have her she’s your friend, the love of your life, your rock. Don’t give up on her, on your future, and most importantly don’t give up on yourself. Seek help and do what ever it takes to make it work bcs we’re here for a reason.