First and fore most let me crush some people's perceptions ,i realize why and how social media has evolved ,and this an indictment of all the silly shallow instant gratification,need for positive reinforcement ,need for validation of personal opinions etc etc etc.

It's not real ,beneficial for most people or even remotely helpfull to have Facebook friends ,because by and large they are "transactional friends" I run in about 75 different groups and have probably 3 or 400 Facebook friends , transactional meaning one of us had or needed something be it experience knowledge a certain widget ,we connected we friended each other ,but neither of us had any real interpersonal connection or level of investment in growing a real dedicated supportive relationship .

It is way to easy to add and subtract transactional friends on social media , and people have developed some measure of reliance on transactional friends as measure of defining themselves there success ,etc.
You don't need or want those kind of friends and can't let social media define anything but social media .

Your real friends & family are those that always love and support you regardless of what's happening in the world . Most of my real life close friends aren't even connected on social media ,we literaly have no intrest in seeking a shallow meaningless connection ,and sometimes we aren't exactly chatty people it may be weeks or months between calls ,however when we do connect up its like no time has elapsed . We know each other to such a high degree just the tone of our voice when we answer the phone is revealing how we are .

So realize a healthy relationship is like building something you need a foundation , you need a level of safety (you are free to be you, the good, bad or ugly as it maybe and the same applies to them ) and within that relationship you are kinda like amino acid chains always building on your past to help maintain the future relationship.

So it would be good to keep transactional friends as transactions instead of a burdensome troubling non meaningfull connection . I know we have to start somewhere ,anywhere as a point of genuine connection ,but there's an old saying about relationships the ones you meet in church are religous ,the ones you meet at a bar are alcoholics now or in the future , the ones you meet in between those 2 extremes are the healthy ones that are worth the investment .

All to often in modern day "church friends " are very much transactional , if the relationship only exists because it happened well you were both there to pray or get away from something in everday life, is there a deeper foundation that you can build on ,it sounds to me like the answer is no. So dont use this relationship as yardstick, give people enough rope to either be dangerous or common sense prevails and you didnt have anything to worry about in the first place ,and in this case it sounds like the anxiety from this on/off relationship is setting you for greater anxiety in a never ending cycle , as you say you have put in the effort the last two trys at re establishing a connection,either cut to the chase and confront them or feed out the line and whatever happens happens ,but you need off the anxiety go round.
I hope this is helpfull and you find a way forward in making a solid connection or saying this is transactional ,put effort into other relationships. because this one is never going to mature .[/QUOTE]