Hugs to all who are struggling. I am sorry I don't really respond much. I am finding reading and concentrating difficult. My head is a mess. I am sorry I post so often too. I am not looking for attention, it simply helps me feel less alone.

IP for two days now and feel worse. I want to go home but have been told that is a bad idea. I am so damn restless, agitated even, which makes every task unbearable. I am refusing a lot of the extra Seroquel as I am afraid of weight gain (I've been on 50-400 mg a day, with less each day). I think I am paranoid about the meds. It is so difficult feeling so edgy and unable to go outside and walk to burn some of it off. I did go to the small gym here but am using it mostly for hip recovery as running or cycling (cardio) are too harsh on my hip. Another frustration.

At least I have insurance to cover this, a gym to help my hip, food, shelter, and mostly great staff. My pdoc was supposed to come in today but he hasn't shown up. Guess being its a sunny Sunday he found better things to do. Doubt he can help anyway. I just need to let the meds work but still resist it. WHY? My Lithium was increased and Ziprazidone split up morning and night, and maybe increased 60mg a day too. I have ants crawling around inside me. Very hard to be patient and not run away.

My parents came today. It was simply a causal visit but still triggered me. I was also very agitated and impatient so I wanted them to leave as soon as they came for no other reason that I couldn't sit still, concentrate and answer their Q's. Well that is my rant.