Wander, thank you for keeping us updated. We appreciate the posts and we care about how you're doing.

It sounds like you are still swimming upstream. That is exhausting I'm sure. I am hopeful your mind will surrender to the process soon so that you can begin to relax a little. You need rest and to begin healing. You are working so hard to resist. Maybe spend a little time contemplating what it would be like to let go and accept where you are for a while. My IP stay had a lot to offer me once I accepted I needed and wanted to be there. Maybe yours can too. Blessings for peace and rest.