There's messy. There's really messy. There's depression messy. And then there's my apartment. I've lived here for a year and just let things get worse and worse. The worse it gets the more paralyzed I feel. At this point none of the rooms in my apartment are useable. But every day I just have no energy to face it off and put it off for yet another day.

There's so much shame. I haven't told literally anyone how bad it is. It's a huge quality of life thing and not even my therapist knows.

God, I can't believe I'm about to admit this. I've been sleeping in my bathtub for months ever since mold mites took over my bed because of the messy dishes. That's how bad it is.

I'm asking my boss for a few days off work and tackling this. But I can't tell anyone in my life and I really need support and encouragement. It takes hours to barely make a dent in the sheer amount that needs to be done. Maybe there's someone else on here who can understand.
I'm an hour into it. That's not exactly an accomplishment. But it's getting started, which is more than I've done in a year.

If I post updates and maybe pics as I make actual progress could I maybe get some encouragement or reassurance that it's progress even though it will still be something that would horrify and disgust almost anyone?