OMG, I am so sorry for missing/ not responding to your reply. ( I dont recall seeing an email letting me know of your reply).
So if your still around here are answers to your questions:
The issue happens both when I haven't rested and when I have rested (until past year rest hasn't been an issue ). However this "episode" will cause some sleepless nights in itself .
The explosiveness /rage hapends when I am triggered about a past event (allways the same) (or when I am currently randomly stressed )that I have not been able to reconcile (same triggers for 10 years) . Sometimes I am able to keep it at bay but during these "episodes" its near impossible. I must say that the explosiveness or rage I do keep to myself but its killing me . I have always done COG therapy, some mindfulness, meditation. The treatment has been for General Anxiety and mild/moderate depression and some ADD. I take 150 mg welbutrin and 200mg Lamictal (both generic).. Thru the years I have tried many to see if problem would go away but it doesn't. My mood just goes south, only physical is after a short bit... there is panic, anxiety, fear, resentment, hatred (specific individuals that have caused my pain) and hopelessness.... I am not a violent person and couldn't hurt another person, but when its like this I feel I have to die to make this all go away.... thats when it gets scary. Only physical is thighness in neck (normal for anger) and when it gets terrible some hyper venation.
It probably goes without saying that I also have this problem when I go down to off a medication. I have bad insomnia since last october with little help from meds. it may be the lamical but Im VERY afraid to go down that long road of getting off it (in reading my past journals when going down on it IT WAS BAD MENTALLY).
I find it hard to believe that not allot of others have this problem.
Thanks for the reply if your still listening.