After many years of dealing with childhood and adult trauma, I have developed a few theories. I think if as a child, the abuse is constant or on an "as needed" basis one sort of mentally removes themselves from it. Also I think we begin to act on autopilot, and perhaps model the actions of the abuser. Definitely our defenses are up and we react the only way we know how to adult issues. I think it's a matter of maturity, age and experience, when we begin to observe our own actions and determine if help is needed. Of course help won't work unless you are open to it. Some folks seek help but don't let it in.

I know myself...I have come to understand somewhat why I did certain things. I think as an abused child we don't stop to think about our actions, I know I didn't. Now that I have some understanding of my actions I can forgive myself for most of them. It's easy to hang onto the guilt (as we were programmed to do as children ) but understanding where the behavior came from can ease your conscience. I know I'm not the same person I was at 20 or 30. The other "me" did those things.

Some people come to understand themselves earlier than others. I guess I'm a slow learner. I wasn't a horrible person, let's just say I was quirky.

IMO therapy can only work if you want it to and no one can help you unless you accept their help. Therapy is a tool, you have to do the work.

Remember YOU are a survivor!

P.S. Happy Crafter, congratulations for overcome your addictions. That is quite an accomplishment! (hug)