I understand your troubles and do not feel ashamed. I have never been neat. I am 44 years old and only in the last year have I done the dishes everyday. My whole house isnt horrible but my bedroom is and the front room that used to be the kids' play room was horrible up until 10 months ago. By horrible I mean crap everywhere and spots where my dogs pooped on the rug. My husband tackled that room because we are remodeling it to be our bedroom. When I was first married at age 20 we lived in a tiny apartment and I had my son. On his first birthday we had a party for family. I did not have a dishwasher and I had overflowing dishes and mess. I gathered up all the dishes and mess in a bin and put it in the bathtub and pulled the shower curtain! I do not know to this day if anyone ever looked. About 6 weeks ago I sort of just had it. My laundry/utility room had layers of laundry that had been there forever. I just started throwing crap out. The layers were so high, I was as tall as my washer and dryer which is about a foot up off the floor. I ended up getting it done and now I am shorter than the washer, thats how high the piles were. I started working on my bedroom and now there is a path around the bed that I could vacuum. My advice is, do not sort things one by one or get caught up with getting a bag ready for goodwill donation. In normal circumstances I would donate usable things but the mess was so bad that in this instance I just threw stuff out. Remember if its buried there and has been for so long you already are not using it or do not miss it so get rid of it. Do you have money for an exterminator? You will need one for the bedroom. Do not get hung up on a timeline. Its too overwhelming and you could end up not doing anything. Go by hotspots, Tackle on area at a time. If its all you get done in a day so be it. Like, maybe try just your bed and the next day somewhere else.