Quote:
Originally Posted by Elio
I went 1 a week for about a year and I would go through a similar cycle and by the time for my next session, I didn't need to talk about any of it because I was "fine" and I didn't "trust" her any more. We upped to 2x a week and my transference intensified. So much more came up and was talked about. At the same time, the longing and missing was almost unbearable at times. After a year or so on 2x a week and after much discussion, we increased to 3x a week. I'm now at a little over a year at 3x week (Mon, Tues, Thur). My obsessing about her changed, the longing is not nearly as painful, I feel more secure that she is there. I still miss and want her between sessions, especially on our long weekend, I can often set it aside and do whatever it is life needs of me. I still write her between sessions both in a journal and through email. Since our big rupture this spring, I've been emailing her every day that I do not have session. I am getting closer to dropping the daily contact, I'm not sure yet if we've completely repaired the rupture. I don't tend to repair ruptures so I'm not sure what it looks like.
As to some of the other comments, yes in my part of the world, going 1 x week is the norm. I too feel that this type of therapy can be extremely helpful for some and wish there wasn't so much stigma around it and wished that insurance didn't have as much say in someone's treatment plans. I am lucky that my insurance has and does cover all my sessions. I too am fearful that they will at some point review my case and decide not to cover the additional sessions.
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Hi thanks for replying, it's really interesting to read your experiences with this. I've only ever had once a week therapy because it is all that has ever been offered. I could have more with my current T but I don't have insurance being in the UK and I pay for it myself, so I simply can't afford it. With past Ts the intense attachment has come up but it wasn't really resolved. With Ts 2 and 3 contact between sessions was frowned upon and they rarely replied when I did contact them, which led to greater anxiety and I never felt safe enough to work through some deep stuff. Plus T2 didn't really do the whole transference thing, even though she helped me a lot in other ways. This T I see now is completely different, she is the safest T I've ever known and the attachment to her has developed very quickly. I miss her massively between sessions. She is okay with contact and is very attachment-focussed, which is what I need but the transference is so intense right now it is agonising. I'm more open with her than I have been with past Ts though, which I hope will help in time. It's great that your T is so okay with contact - I do think that these issues have the potential to work themselves out, if given space to. My T makes a lot of things safe that never were with other Ts (hugs etc) and as a result I feel as though it's simply okay, and some of the desperation has eased off. I don't know if that would be everyone's experience but it's mine.