Hey, everyone.

If anyone has been following me, you may know I was in a relationship that I constantly struggled with and posted about on this sub-forum. I finally broke free and ended that relationship earlier this year, and I have never felt better! I have much more energy, more free time for myself, and more enthusiasm do get out and enjoy life!

I've also met this guy. Not just any guy, but someone who "gets me," who shares the same passions in life. He makes me laugh, I make him laugh, the best part of my day is receiving a message from him.

We haven't officially started dating, partially because we're long distance right now, and we're waiting to hang out again in person to figure things out.

He obviously likes me. Like, REALLY obviously. We flirt, we talk frequently, he's constantly complimenting me or making inside jokes. We've talked on the phone to the point where it's hard to hang up. I'm just as equally enamored with him. Thus, the "sea of love." I've never felt this way before.

But with the distance and everything that happened with my last relationship (not feeling like enough, constantly disappointing my ex, my ex not communicating his feelings properly), I feel like a sinking ship. I'm constantly doubting if this new guy actually likes me. I worry I'm being annoying because my last text I sent was "too flirty," or if I'm messaging him too many times during the day. I get freaked out if he takes a long time to reply or seems to be "ignoring" my texts. I KNOW that people get too busy and can't reply sometimes. I'm trying really hard to not be so distrusting. It's just so easy for me to think that I'm going to mess things up.

And I really don't want to. This might be the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm just so constantly worried. It sucks because this brought me so much joy before, but in the past week I've just been so nervous that I'm gonna cross the line somehow.

I get to see him in person in a few weeks, and I'm craving being able to talk in person. To figure out what we are. To be held and told it's going to be ok.

But I don't want to NEED that. Sure, it'll be nice to have once it's here. But I need that trust to come from within. I don't want to be paranoid anymore because I should be able to relax and TRUST that he likes me. But I'm just stuck in the old thinking habits of my past relationship.

Help. How do I just let myself be loved by the most perfect human? All I want is to let love in and not be so damn hard on myself.