I think you are trying to split hairs labeling something a slip when its a relapse. I think you are feeling shame and are trying to avoid learning from it and being honest about what happened leading up to it. It wasn't just the ex or the death, there are always other things humming along in the backround that push us closer to relapse. My last relapse was on xanax- I was an absolute hazard everywhere I went. I was at my homegroup all F'd up and one woman drove my car home and my sponsor drove me home and they came into my house and sat me down. They told me that something was up, that I wasn't fooling anyone but it was up to me to get honest about it and move forward. My sponsor said when I was ready to get honest to come to her house. The next day I did and told her everything and it was such relief to not have to hide anything. To let the charade fall. Imagine my surprise when she told me that I had to raise my hand and tell them I was coming back every meeting for a week. I was so embarrassed. I had to tell my family too. But the people in AA were supportive-actually more supportive than my first time. I learned humility. You do not lose what you learn- if you were on step 4 when you relapsed, you pick it back up. But to be accountable and walk the walk rather than talk the talk you should start a new timeline. Relapsing was the best thing that ever happened to me because that is when I felt the psychic change that the BB talks about and I am truly a new and different person.