@IrisBloom

I hear you. In my case, I blocked out almost my entire childhood. I barely remember any of it. I sat down a while back and wrote out what I could remember. I remember less than 3 pages of standard paper size and Ariel size 11 font. And most of what I can remember is abuse.

I started searching for answers because my life was so different from others. I really don't know if it would have been best for me to learn the truth about my background when I was younger. I don't know if I could have managed the size of it.

So, on being slow learners, LOL I am 62. We are in good company, you and I!!

@sarahsweets

Alcoholism and bullying are both symptoms of anger and insecurities that are untreated. For me, being overwhelmed with money problems and not knowing how to problem solve, I resorted to the easiest escape. So, my problems just got worse and I kept drinking to not face the messes I had created myself.

I can remember several times I abused people when I was sober and when I was drunk. It took me a ton of work to understand why I behaved how I did and to accept it. But that hard work benefited me because I can see the behavior for what it is. I can see how the bad habits get locked in place and how to stop. I had to heal the parts of me that hurt because that was the foundation of why I bullied and took my anger out at others.