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komodo1971 · 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IRememberMyFirstBee

Q: Have you ever stopped taking your meds on your own? If so, what happened?

Yes, I have. I was undiagnosed for Bipolar but was put on zyprexa because I had psychotic tendensies, irritability, etc.

Zyprexa (olanzapine) made a zombie out of me. I just felt..nothing. I wasn't up, I wasn't down, nothing made me laugh, I had no interest in sex, I couldn't concentrate on anything. And, I gained 80 or so pounds in a matter of months. So, at one point I decided I couldn't and wouldn't live like that anymore. So, I stopped.

Possible trigger:

The first few weeks were good. Great even. After a while though, it became less good. I started hearing voices and seeing things out of the corner of my eye. I became aggressive towards other motorists and I drove like I stole the damn car. A man had assaulted a policeman near where I live, and my wife actually thought it was me who did that. At one point, I got the idea in my head that I belonged in hell and I should kill myself to get there. So, I started plotting my suicide.

In the end, I had planned my suicide and picked the train I would throw myself in front of. And my wife got wind of it. That's when she had me committed to hospital and I stayed there for three months.

Suffice to say that if I want to keep my relationship, I need to be on meds.

Question: can you work full time?