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So I thought my T understood what I meant by Bulimia. That I physically make myself throw up. For the entire year and a half he has been thinking that I involuntarily throw up when upset.
Now I feel shame all over again. I thought I was past that because he knew and did not judge me and was helping me figure this out. What an embarrassing session. I just do not want to work on this with him now. I do not want to talk to him about this at all now.
Thinking back on all the times I emailed him when I was having a cycle of binging and purging and need him to help me stay in control. In his mind he was visioning and entire different scenario than what was happening.
I am so gross.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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