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Originally Posted by SuperCatLover
I met the most dramatic, scary behaving man I have ever known. Maybe of either sex. I have a borderline diagnosis I do not agree with, when I watched u youtube descriptive videos in both BPD and Psychopaths, I realized he literally behaved in full-blown manner like both! This had been a very confusing bitter pill to swallow. And it does make things feel easier letting him go. But I feel like a bigger romantic failure for dating him at all. I have the invisible bat in.my hand and am blaming myself deep down Why did I attract someone do incredibly sick? I expect to never encounter a guy so MI and possibly physically dangerous to me ever again..
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It's okay if you don't agree with the diagnosis. You can go to another therapist for a second opinion. People get second opinions for physical conditions all the time, so why not for mental health?
You are not a failure for falling for him, as Narcs are very smooth; they are good actors. Also, they tend to move fast and push themselves on you. So I think for next time, two things to consider:
1). It's best to date when you are in your best condition and can think clearly. I made the mistake of allowing someone to get close to me when I was under a lot of stress in my life. I fell for this person because I thought I was getting compassion (which turned out to be disingenuous).
2).I also tell myself this all the time, but go slow and move cautiously. If you see an orange or yellow flag, trust you instincts. If you are unsure, ask your friends or your therapist.