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I had to get it off my chest to him so I emailed him how I felt and that I just did not want to talk about my bulimia anymore and that I would continue to suffer in silence and manage on my own as it is just to shameful for me to talk about anymore. Well it is. I have no desire to share anything about it anymore. Decades I have been living like this and just assume it will go away on its own when the other issues are resolved.
He did reply:
am sorry you felt embarrassed and ashamed. I apologize for tripping over myself, I might have gotten confused in the moment but I do not have a misunderstanding about the eating disorder you are trying to work out as a whole; just a misunderstanding in that moment. You are free and welcomed to not discuss this anymore and to suffer in silence.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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