Past abuse and past failed experiences shape our lives to a large extent. We are a product of our past. It's very difficult to just forget and forgive and start over, especially when nothing is working in your life, and everything points to the fact you are a worthless failure who doesn't deserve to be helped, acknowledged, or even live in others' eyes. When you are nothing to every one in life, even to your family. When you have no meaning or purpose. When you are not productive and independent financially and emotionally. These are all connected and feed each others in a vicious cycle.