Thanks for sharing this. I recall replying to your introductory post. I can't tell you what the experiences you've described here are about... or to what extent they are related to having been an only child. What I can say is that, many years ago, I also grew up as an only child. I was also a target for bullies. And I can certainly relate to what you wrote about wishing you could spend less time in your own head & more outside of it where it belongs.

I do suspect that growing up as an only child probably imposes upon only-children a certain set of unique conditions (some fortuitous & some not so much.) Some of what you wrote sounds to me as though it may perhaps be related to social anxiety, which is something I've always struggled with. I can't speak to the CEN issue myself. There was no such concept, that I know of, way back when I was growing up; & it's all too long ago, & my memories of it are too foggy, to be able to say whether I was emotionally neglected or not.

Anyway... I don't know as any of that is of any consequence to you. There isn't much of anything I could offer in the way of insights or advice. But these are my thoughts with regard to your post.