Thank you for the welcome and the links there are some reassuring words in those articles.

Every word or message I’ve spoken or sent is agonised over and practised or re written multiple times to try and be as understanding and diplomatic as possible to the other parties, but all I get back is thoughtless defensive angry responses.

It did feel like the best thing to do is to cut everyone off but it’s lonely and hard with no support or family, it feels like a punishment.