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cashart10
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Location: KY
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Default Jul 16, 2019 at 08:06 PM
 
I often become hyper religious...so I have donated large sums of money (far greater than we could afford) to charities so there were some pretty worthwhile causes. I have also prayed incessantly for my own family and friends and in person to strangers. Prayer never hurts! I spent more time with my grandmother as she was dying as I believed I was called above everyone else to pray her way home. I spent the night with her, laying hands on her to pray while she slept and reciting prayers with her while she was awake. I once, being highly impulsive (as I am only when manic), shared my very deep and personal testimony to my preacher (who preaches at a mega-church where I live). He then asked me to share my testimony in his book and videoed Bible-study based on the book. He’s a New York Times best selling author and that book was pretty popular. Sometimes when I think about it it makes me proud to know my story may have helped others, other times it makes me cringe to think how accessible such vulnerable information about me is to the entire public. I take much better care of myself when I’m manic (minus not sleeping)...for instance usually drinking tons of water and vigorously regularly exercising. I spend more time with my kids and they enjoy my company (unless I’m in a rage of course..that is a whole other terrible, terrible yet thankfully infrequent story) because I am much more playful and fun. I am much more creative. Words spew from my mind onto paper and, until I am over the top manic, they can be pretty rich and eloquent.

__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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