Kiwi,
I read your post quickly for the gist, but gathered #8 was a contemptuous bully and seemed to have a fantasy she could browbeat your reactions out of you. If scolding worked, we'd all be thin, healthy multi-lingual Nobel Prize winners.

I had tremendous guilt leaving AMA, feeling like I was truant. I had this irrational self-blame that leaving this scold meant I was walking away from a better life, though intellectually I knew he hadn't helped me in the slightest. (Actually there were bullying co-therapists, but the man was more confrontational and cruel.)

As you describe, I had a cross-country move and big life change not long after. It kept me busy building my life, but I examined and re-examined the harmful episode over the years. Time and distance gave me more insight and perspective. It happens in layers.

The silver lining is this interval helped dissuade me from the concept of gurus and strong men. No one is a mystical healer, and I'm the expert and driver of my own life. Anyone who represents herself as an answer lady or guru is a pretender.

So sorry this happened to you.