Kiwi, thanks so much for sharing your story. The clarity and detail in your descriptions of your feelings and the effect that T#8's "treatment" had on you make it clear that invalidation and humiliation by a therapist can have adverse effects in a person way above and beyond anything they went into therapy with.

It's interesting that the neurologically based EMDR was helpful to you like neurofeedback was for koru_kiwi.

And it's sad but maybe significant, too, that the supervisor and director of the clinic were also dismissive and invalidating. "You (as a person) don't count, only us" sounds like their attitude? Seems to me that can destroy a sense of self. Not only does that feel awful, it can also be a very dangerous situation. I wonder if there was anything like that going on when you decided to go back to T#8? She had destroyed or damaged some things in you but then you needed HER to bolster what you then lacked? Maybe not, please forgive my speculation if it doesn't make sense or seems out of line.

So glad you have persisted and made it through!