Right now in therapy I have two big things going on that I need to process with T but he is not in the office this week, back for two sessions then away again. Anyway... one of our sessions a while back brought up a lot of shame around touch and since then I haven’t wanted the symbols of any of my supports in session. The second is discovering how extremely neglectful and messed up my infancy was. For some reason a picture of T with his granddaughter on his lap just made it all so real, so much contrast. T is deeply bothered by both my infancy and my not wanting my supports around me right now. Next session I am thinking of bringing up the infancy stuff... well, as an infant I didn’t have any supports... all I really remember having was my blanket. So today I went out and got stuff to replicate my baby blanket (the original got lost in a move about 5 years ago). Does it seem stupid to bring that to session as the symbol of the “support” I had as an infant? It was the only comforting, nurturing thing I could think of.