Quote:
Originally Posted by starfishing
You know yourself best. How do you feel about having canceled?
This is interesting. Why do you think therapists aren't supposed to do that kind of thing? Some therapists might not for whatever reason, or might not with a particular client, but it's not a hard and fast rule or anything.
I've never done it over email with my current therapist, but I've had multiple conversations with him in person about having trouble getting myself to come to sessions, considering canceling, etc., and his responses have almost always included some variation on saying he knows it's difficult for me at times but he hopes I'll keep making the decision to come in, and/or that he's glad I didn't cancel. And I had a therapist years ago who I emailed a few times with variations on "I'm thinking about canceling" or "I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get myself to come in for the next session," and she generally replied with something pretty similar to what you've imagined wanting.
I feel like I remember your posting in the past about your therapist having similar verbal responses in session--saying he's glad you came in, etc., though maybe I'm misremembering?
|
I canceled on my T earlier this year, after a difficult session, then a few email exchanges where he just didn't seem to get what was going on with me. He replied with something like, "I think it's probably better to discuss what's bothering you sooner than later, but I respect your decision to cancel." And he said he had multiple openings that day if I opted to change my mind (I canceled a day or two in advance). So it was like he was nudging me a bit to come in, but not pressuring me. I think that was a good balance. Because if he'd just been like "OK, took you off the schedule," I likely would have felt rejected.
(I did end up rescheduling for the day after my missed session, but I consulted with another T in between, which I told him about. We resolved things.)
I think T's are trained to not "chase after" clients. That it's somewhat unethical for them to be like, "No, you need to come in so we can talk!" Partly due to respecting their clients' autonomy, but I think also due to the financial component.