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Lrad123 · Jul 17, 2019 at 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starfishing

You know yourself best. How do you feel about having canceled?

This is interesting. Why do you think therapists aren't supposed to do that kind of thing? Some therapists might not for whatever reason, or might not with a particular client, but it's not a hard and fast rule or anything.

I've never done it over email with my current therapist, but I've had multiple conversations with him in person about having trouble getting myself to come to sessions, considering canceling, etc., and his responses have almost always included some variation on saying he knows it's difficult for me at times but he hopes I'll keep making the decision to come in, and/or that he's glad I didn't cancel. And I had a therapist years ago who I emailed a few times with variations on "I'm thinking about canceling" or "I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get myself to come in for the next session," and she generally replied with something pretty similar to what you've imagined wanting.

I feel like I remember your posting in the past about your therapist having similar verbal responses in session--saying he's glad you came in, etc., though maybe I'm misremembering?

Yes, he’s had positive verbal responses when I’ve expressed how difficult it is for me to come in. He’ll say that he’s glad I came or that he hopes I’ll come. Once I canceled via email but went to my session anyway and he was so positive about how glad he was that I showed up. One time recently I emailed saying I was thinking about taking a break from therapy for a month or two, and he responded by saying “Let’s talk about it next week.” Not an especially warm response, but since he doesn’t respond at all it felt like something. Also, I once asked him (via email) to tell me he wanted me to come in and talk and he responded by saying, “I absolutely want you to come in and talk” which was nice. I can’t ask him to do that every week though, and it seems that’s what it’s come down to. When I read the paragraph I just wrote he sounds pretty awesome doesn’t he? So why is this so hard for me??? It’s embarrassing and it doesn’t make sense. He’s kind and I can barely tolerate it.