I need to swear sooooo badly. I'm so f@*$!&# mad right now. How can someone feel so incredibly sad and just as incredibly angry at the same time. Sorry, dealing with 2 different situations at the same time. My emotions are being tugged in 2 directions. F him!!!! Hope that was ok. God, let me find some self-disciple and self-control. I don't do either of those very well and yet I'm soooo sad at the same time. Which emotion is going to over-rule the other. It better be the sad one, even though I hate being sad.

Gotta go get my Xanax now. Gotta be sad instead of angry. Please let the sad win out. Angry won't be pretty.