I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much, Peter76 I agree with the wise and just Skeezyks and Open Eyes. Don't throw away your shot as it's the only one you've got. Please do not worry about you "saving" other people. Right now YOU are the one who needs help so please just try to focus on yourself and your own healing. I'm sure that you're not a burden like you think you are. You have EVERY RIGHT to live your a good life just like everyone else does. Yes, often it is difficult but I'm sure that good things can come. Just try to do your best at life. What are you doing right now to help yourself? Do you have a job or anyone that may help you with money? Perhaps you can try to ask for help to a therapist if you can afford it. Either way, PLEASE hang in there. We're here for you and we won't abandon you. THAT'S A PROMISE! I hope you DO have ANY kind of support system in your life. Please be kind to yourself, ok? Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Peter76, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you and Accept you for who you TRULY are!