Quote:
Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse
I can relate so well. I've talked to two different psychiatrists about this because I was afraid I was developing dementia, and they both told me the same thing: it's probably due to a combination of repeated bipolar episodes (especially mania) and the medications used to treat the disorder. Well, I'm still screwed because I can't undo past episodes nor can I stop meds, but for some reason it reassures me that my memory issues aren't likely to be associated with Alzheimer's or some other type of dementia.
It's my short-term memory that really drives me nuts. I can quote you a song from 40+ years ago, tell you the name of the band, the lyrics, and the year it came out, but I can't tell you what I ate for lunch, or even IF I ate lunch. I have trouble recognizing people out of context, which REALLY scares me because it's super embarrassing when they go "Oh, you know me!"
A lady came to the door the other day asking to use our bathroom; I didn't recognize her because she was in shorts and her hair was up, and she had no makeup on. She turned out to be the nice receptionist at my son-in-law's hair salon, who I know well in that environment but could not place her when she wanted to come in to use the toilet. I was, of course, mortified, and it's little slips like this that really make me question my cognitive abilities. No one else seems to be all that concerned, even though dementia isn't unheard of at my age (I'm 60). If it gets worse I'm going to demand a neurology consult...I don't like this at all.
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This describes my experience almost exactly, though I never felt my memory issues were bad enough to be dementia. After reading this thread, I asked my husband this morning if he thought I had such issues before medications. He said no. I guess meds definitely contribute, but I really agree with BipolaRNurse that my years of severe manias and depressions are also factors. I have also read that.
My memory issues used to be worse. As far as meds are concerned, I found higher doses of Lamictal to be the worst culprit. Also, when weaned off of Lithium, I noticed a thin fog clear. Like Travelinglady, I do take Tegretol, and a fairly large dose. Tegretol has been mostly side effect friendly, but likely affects me cognitively, a bit. It makes me very clumsy -- my worst Tegretol side effect.
Getting back to episodes causing memory issues, when I've been very stable and grounded, I can handle more, intellectually. My brain needs time to heal after episodes. These past 14 years, I've had times when I could hardly retain anything I read. I even sometimes struggled speaking fluently. Other times, I almost (almost) felt as able as before my worst episodes. I think "How in the heck did I manage to handle 21 credits per semester at college and socialize so much?" Or, "How was it that I used to be able to work 60 hours and then go home and do housework, cooking, exercise, and more?" And then I think "Well, many people do that AND have kids to take care of and cart to soccer/dance classes. "
Fact is, even when I was young, I had times when I couldn't handle 21 credits in a semester. I remember one semester barely managing 12 credits and doing pretty so-so or even poorly. I didn't take medications back then, I'll admit, but I'll also say that I could bounce back much quicker, mentally, after episodes. I blame age and years of the illness, more than meds.