Hope,

I'm writing this as somebody who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder about 1.5 years ago.

I know there's a lot of stigma around this disorder. People say that those who have it are mean and manipulative and all sorts of things.
From my own experience, these things are not true. It can seem that way to some people who don't really understand you or don't care enough to try. And some people can act out a lot and it makes it seem even more so.
But it doesn't mean you can't have fulfilling, long-lasting relationships. Or that you're a bad friend/person to be around. I have more than one friend who also has BPD and I love all of them very much. I also have friends who I've been able to keep for years and they still seem to enjoy being around me.

In the end, diagnosis are a label that we have developed to tell what treatments might help somebody. People with BPD might benefit from DBT. People with schizophrenia probably less so. It's important for therapists to know what they are treating, just like it is important for a doctor to know whether they are treating a cold or lung cancer.

But it doesn't make you a bad human being or ruins you, and with you I think that already shows in the fact that 1) you are going to therapy and are trying to get better and 2) you are worried about hurting people you care about.

And from what I've experienced so far, even if your diagnosis is correct, there are many ways to treat it and to help you, and knowing what your actual issue is empowers you to achieve an overall better life.