I didn’t go to work today. No real reason other than I was tired and my student wasn’t going to be in anyway. She’s not going to be in tomorrow either but I’ll go to work tomorrow. I shouldn’t have taken off today but whatever. Nbd.

I finally made an appointment with a GI dr for this pain in my stomach. It’s been going on off and on for about three years. Recently it’s gotten worse again. So I sucked it up and made an appointment. The last time I went to the GI dr he fat shamed me. He dx’ed me with GERD but none of my symptoms fit GERD. He ignored the pain in my stomach and told me to just lose weight and I’ll be fine. I never went back. I’m reticent to go to a new dr because I don’t want to be fat shamed again. I already feel bad enough about how much I weigh. But this time I’m going to a new practice with new drs so hopefully this one will take me seriously.

I’m still feeling awful about my weight. I did work out yesterday though. Planning on going again tomorrow. I really need to take control. I almost went out and got McDonald’s today for lunch but instead I had my leftover fettuccine Alfredo. Still high in fat and carbs but not as many calories as McDonald’s. Tomorrow we’re going to the fair so I’m not sure what I’m going to eat. I might eat before hand so that I’m not too hungry by the time we go.

I never heard from that job I applied for and I’m sure it’s because I don’t have my special ed certificate. It’s disappointing. I applied for a general ed job today but I probably won’t get called for that either because I have no general ed experience except for being a co teacher. I just want to make more money. I’m seriously hurting. I’m trying not to make unnecessary purchases. But I still don’t have enough between paychecks. However, I much happier in my own house so I’d rather be dirt poor and living here than have a little bit of money but live with my mom.

I bought cigarettes on Sunday and Monday because my juul charger broke and I had to order a new one. But I’ve been good for a couple of days. I want to smoke but again, I have to take charge of my health.

I guess that’s it. Supposed to be ridiculously hot here for the next few days. RS and I are going to a museum of medical oddities on Saturday. I assume it’s air conditioned so that should be fine. We just have to walk from the car to the museum and then to the restaurant for dinner afterward.