I am sorry that you are struggling. Know that you are not alone.

There is no specific thing that will help. You have to find out what works for you. Transference is a tell-tale sign for particular issues brewing deep down. It seems you already know it is a maternal transference; that is valuable insight. Perhaps you should see a male therapist so that the maternal transference issues will not invade the therapeutic relationship. I know how it is - I wanted to back to it because [for a time] a therapist can fulfill those needs; but that doesn't last forever. It will end. As heartbreaking and as healing an experience it can be to go work through that, try to focus on what is less painful. Going back to find another therapist only to experience the same maternal transference would suggest that no matter what you do in therapy, you will always have a maternal wound. That is something I can attest to. That yearning for a mother figure is a real need and there are many theories about how we can heal that wound. For myself, I have learned to nurture and support myself in the way that a mother ought to. How I do this is unique to me and will differ from others who have managed to cope with the same and or similar afflictions. I wear diapers, hug teddy bears, wrap up in blankies and gentle care for myself. That is a nightly thing, sometimes all day if need be. That way I don't rely on external factors. While this is impractical in the long-term, it certainly allows me to experience similar feelings.

Do you have a good relationship with your biological mother? Would you say there is a correlation between your relationship with your mother and your maternal transference issues? Sometimes our maternal issues could spark from unmet needs, but sometimes it can also come from a desire to return to an otherwise positive maternal experience. What resonates most with you?

Thanks,
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