When you grabbed a tissue and took off your glasses and did something that I couldn't see because I was staring at the floor ... were you ... idk ... tearing up or something?

I feel guilty and ashamed for even considering that possibility. Like it's pathetic that I could possibly think that if it's not at all the case. I'm lying to myself thinking that you would ever care that much, that I could ever affect you that much.

Rationally I'm aware that this is probably a hard topic for you to have to listen to. I'd imagine you felt some degree of guilt when you first found out how badly you ****ed up and how much I got hurt. But I'm not sure if you've worked through that guilt or whether you still feel at least a bit. Part of me hopes you have. Part of me hopes you still feel some guilt along with the regret and empathy.
But I'd probably feel even more guilty for bringing it up and not let myself do so again.