Holly.

Personal availability? I can be available. I can even cuddle and chit-chat and share stories of my traumatic childhood, like real people do. But when people tell me they love me, when they share with me something truly profound, I always feel ... what's the proper word? Surprised? Caught off-guard? Sure, I can act out these things, but it's like I'm singing a song that's in a foreign language without knowing the meaning behind the words. And then, when someone tries to speak to me in that language at a deeper level, I don't know what to do. There's no real connection, because I can say, "I love you," but I don't really know what that means.

Does that make any sense?