There is no such thing as tough love. Tough and love cannot be used in the same sentence. You cannot hurt someone and tell them you did that out of love. My father has always said he criticized me, hit me, and yelled at me only because he "loved me" and for my own sake. To succeed in life. He created a fragile and immature person instead with social anxiety and depression issues, and now as grown up as a failure in every aspect of life. I believe that only love and respect can make people change and make them better. Punishing people in the of hope they become better is an illusion. But it's easier than being patient and loving unconditionally. I identify as an atheist/agnostic now, but St. Paul verses on love are things to recall.