My session with R was actually good. He said seeing another T hurt him, which surprised me.

I cried a lot though. He was saying one issue that's always been from the start is that I didn't trust him. I told him I generally didn't trust anyone and I expected him to stab me in the back and to send letters to my address to my parents. That I just didn't feel safe.

he was going on about how it was okay for me to have needs and to ask for what I needed. But I said I could never feel like I could do that. I told him to not look at me to cover his eyes and he actually did. i went on about being given a brushing chart at school at 7 but realizing that I didn't actually mark it because I didn't brush my teeth and there was no one there to check it had been done. and stealing sanitary towels from my aunt and mainly using tissue because I couldn't ask.

He said he sorry that I went through that.

He asked what did I need from him. I said I wanted comfort and reassurance. That i liked the smiley faces in his emails. That i made me think of blankets. He said just like from a mother. I joked that I also had mummy issues. xD.