Quote:
Originally Posted by weaverbeaver
After years of being with the same therapist I am starting to realise that my t has been extremely abusive.
She calls me things and uses parts of my story to abuse me and it makes me feel ashamed.
Today she said my borderline traits are disturbing. I said, “oh, now I am borderline?” She said, “I didn’t say that” and then I start to doubt what I heard. I feel like I am starting to go crazy and that she just says, I am projecting and interpreting everything wrong!
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That sounds like what is often described as gaslighting. I had a T like that and I never regretted dumping him. It wasn't as easy as never looking back, and I often second-guessed my perceptions and feelings but, ultimately, it was the best decision.
I think there is a huge difference between being constructively critical and shaming someone (often for the mere sake of coming off superior). And I think people who do the shaming often are completely or largely unaware of what they are doing and why, they avoid dealing with their own motives and shift blame to find "reasons" in the other. It is abusive and not realizing it is no excuse, especially from a therapist!