Hello, it's my first post here and I really need an outside opinion on this because as the title suggests, it's a high stakes thing.
I am currently in the US, has been here for 3 months and will leave for EU in 3 months time. My gf who is unemployed and depends on me (for which I am not resentful, even though after about 20 months I made a deal with her that she would just get any job she likes so that she has a modicum of independence) is back home even though she was supposed to come join me.
2 days ago my girlfriends of 2 years out of a blue announced that she'd been raped by a police officer a week prior. I was completely floored, but she provided no information at all, got very defensive and angry at anything I suggested or did. Even the fact that I told my mother who knows her, which to me is the most natural thing to do, just as I would have told her about an accident or any serious issue. She just keeps saying she will deal with that herself and make him pay.
Even though she has done nothing but party, visit friends and just stay home and play games in the meantime. She even talked to me about a prospect of having a baby about 5 days ago.
Just for context - I come from a very wealthy family in which women occupy prominent roles as at least equals to men and they would never even assume to blame anyone for being a victim of an assault. I've already arranged for a family lawyer to contact her and provide guidance as to what to do and say. I also made sure she is going to counseling at once and maybe stay with my family for support. Her response? "don't talk to me", "how could you tell your mother? what will she think of me?!"
Now this is the tough part for me. I have a strong suspicion she is lying to me to cover for something she did or didn't do, my bet now is on her failing to apply for a passport and a visa to join me. She was supposed to have them some time ago but told me a pretty far-fetched thing about there being a flooding that destroyed the whole load of passports. She also said she'd deal with that. (she still doesn't have a passport after another month). And maybe I am mistaken but destruction of the whole bunch of government documents in summer would be just a thing some news outlets might be interested in? But ultimately, despite how shady that looked, it wasn't a big deal. If she doesn't wanna come, I won't make her.
This thing is a whole another beast.
Sorry for rambling. I am just so tired of trying to get to her and am afraid I will be single before monday, but naturally I am hestiant about telling a woman claiming to have suffered rape that I don't believe her, despite my overwhelming suspicion, but if she just went to the police and left a statement, it would be sufficient proof to me that what she said is true. Until then I can only act as if it was. What do you think? Am I off? Is it just how someone who has been assaulted acts? Or am I being taken for a ride?
Last edited by atisketatasket; Jul 20, 2019 at 09:22 AM.
Reason: Added trigger
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